Relationships are hard work and it takes real effort to have a healthy relationship. Your person is your constant and is a witness to all of your hardships and successes, they see you in your glory but also see you naked, they receive the best of you as well as the worst of you.
This isn’t a one way street but a rather commitment to meeting one another in the middle. Meeting with understanding while you work at overcoming the troubles you come with.
Relationships have been my greatest teacher
They open your heart to give and receive love
They help to get in touch with your emotions
They make you a better person
Your partner is your constant during highs and lows - effort is required.
In most cases there is a reliance on the other person to make you feel good but this reveals that your cup is empty and leaves you vulnerable, because the way you feel is determined by the attention or the lack of attention that you get. It’s not that it isn’t there but it would seem as though you’re closed to receiving how it is being given. To change this all it will take is to do things that make you happy outside of the relationship but contributes positively towards it.
Your relationship can act as a mirror that reflects your desires and your fears. The reason why you love someone is because you have been without what they give and the reason why you despise someone is because they behave in ways that you dislike about yourself.
A relationship provides a path inward
To highlight triggers and the source of them
To learn how to love yourself first
To create boundaries
It’s not what you get from your person but rather what you’re able to give - via support and feedback.
When things are good things are great but when things are bad it can feel like the end of the world. The bad times are a space of deep reflection and an invitation to consider what has occurred that has created the circumstances.
Instead of staying in a cycle where the same experiences continue to happen, learn to see it from a higher perspective and be prepared to make changes. It takes honesty, trust and effort from both people. It’s this process that can turn breakdowns into breakthroughs.
These three questions have been a saving grace in tough times.
Is this a repeated pattern or cycle?
What is my role or contribution to this?
How would I respond to someone that I love?
Your anger and frustration can distract you from the love that binds you together - it’s always there.
Relationships are hard work but they’re incredibly beautiful - to share a life with someone, to grow alongside someone, to be supported to be your best, to witness the love of your life shine their light and to not only have the extreme privilege to be loved but to also have the freedom to love.
It isn’t easy but this is doing the work and it’s always worthwhile.